Belief

This page is to aid my memory for topics that often crop up in conversation. Below are lists to be developed over time, my beliefs about some things. An old page ‘help’ is copied as I’ve redesigned this site and didn’t want to lose content. This photo reveals an old fascination in belief, sufism, the whirling dervishes. I once tried to whirl.

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• Coma
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• Travel
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• Quantum Consciousness
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• Images of me

Travel

My passport states I’ve been to 56 countries. The accident might have happened in Thailand but I’ve been there many times since. From photos and my appalling memory I list the countries I know below. The Australian passport office told my sister that I’d been to 56. My family wanted to know where I’d been before my accident. I’ve been to 12 since my accident, all I’d been before, they stimulate memory.

• Deutschland
• Singapore
• Australia
• France
• England
• Morocco
• Egypt
• Turkey
• Norway
• Sweden
• India
• Thailand
• Cambodia
• Laos
• Phillipines
• Greece
• Vietnam
• Bali
• Italy
• Japan
• China
• Spain
• Ireland
• Yugoslavia
• Czech Republic
• Croatia
• Scotland
• Taiwan
• New Caledonia
• Myanmar
• Peru
• Pakistan
• Syria
• Venice
• Iceland

Music

• Madradeus
• This Mortal Coil
• Craig Armstrong
• Max Righter
• Mahler
• Bach
• David Sylvian
• Ryuchi Sakamoto
• Art of fighting
• Tinder Sticks
• Crime and the City Solution
• Joy Division
• Groove Armada
• Died Pretty
• Pete Murphy
• Nick Cave
• Steve Kilby
• The Church
• Bauhaus
• Djivian Gasparyan
• Durutti Column
• Duraffle
• Faure
• Michael Nyman
• Low
• Sigur Ros
• Dead can Dance
• Gavin Bryars
• GB3
• Johann Johansson
• Handel
• Tan Dun
• Schubert
• Gorecki

Books

• the Trial – Franz Kafka
• the Castle – Franz Kafka
• Our Hearts, my Face, Brief as Photos – John Berger
• To the Wedding – John Berger
• Here is Where We Meet – John Berger
• Narcissus and Goldmund – Hermann Hesse
• Siddhartha – Hermann Hesse
• Steppenwolf – Hermann Hesse
• The Last Temptation of Christ – Nikos Kazantzakis
• Zorba the Greek – Nikos Kazantzakis
• Nausea – Jean Paul Sartre
• The Age of Reason – Jean Paul Sartre
• One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
• Fictions – Jeorg Luis Borges
• The Unbearable Lightness of Being – Milan Kundera

Film

• Space Odyssey 2001 – Kubrick
• Solaris
• Eyes Wide Shut
• Nostalgia
• Prosperous Books
• The Wings of Desire
• Franny and Alexander
• Koyanisquatsi
• In the Mood for Love
• Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
• Powaquatsi
• Dogsville
• Transcendence
• Babette’s Feast
• Coffee and Cigarettes
• Ex Machina
• Ghost in The Shell

Help

This blog aims to help other coma victims. From my personal experience I would say getting off the institutional drugs was the most important thing for recovery. Many of the prescribed drugs perpetuated my displacement, the most troubling was Olanzapine. Medicine is really good for breaks, cuts, and obvious physical damage but doesn’t really understand the complexities of the brain. Sure we know the brain controls our organs and physical bodies but when it comes to it’s nuances and how the brain handles thought and memory we can only try.

Victims have already experienced coma so try not to displace the brain further with drugs, try being as natural as possible and just work on your memory, try and remember. Most of all try to relax, I’ve had setbacks frequently. If through recounting my experiences through coma I can help others that would be great.

Several trips overseas have helped, I write now from Thailand but still type with my left hand on the iPhone, I was right handed before coma. For the non physical effects, consciousness, don’t force memory but encourage it, just try to be yourself again. Only yesterday I was again taken for a stroke victim in Thailand. It happens to me quite often. A practicing French nurse holidaying in Thailand thought stroke. Also another person in Thailand took me for a stroke victim. When I was in hospital too staff thought stroke. Perhaps I can help all others who have had Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) by recounting my experience of it. Even standing in the shower is difficult for TBI victims, we have a problem with balance.

The Silent Reach

When young I played bass and sang in a band, ‘The Silent Reach’. Our recordings can be found at the links below. The first record “Melancholy Love Song” was released on vinyl in 1987. The second “Secondment” was released on CD in 1991. The third “Narcissus” was to be released but after some recording sessions the band broke up. It has now been released online, links below.

Apple Music

Spotify

Solo instrumentals by me below, an attempt at the time to continue, very unprofessional home recordings…

Lyrics

Lyrics for The Silent Reach songs written by Martin Homberger with some lyrics from band members…

Melancholy Love Song

A course line
A fallen hair
A sharp pain
When it comforts your despair

Muffled noise
It is here
And there’s hot coffee shivering
People everywhere

And now I ask, is it me
Oh your face is shining
So comfortably

His blood runs,
He’s got thoughts of home
Cause he’s jerky in pulse
No-one can condone

Through the door
There’s this salt water
And away they walk
Behind the slaughter

Now I asks is it me
Oh your face is shining
So comfortably

Teddy Bears

My world was once
So small and so old
Now it’s so clear, and there’s nothing to fear
Nothing more to expect

Watching my life
Writing my way
Turning around, seeing the ground, it’s all
Miles away

I’ve Been Dying

I’ve been seeing, that there’s nothing
I’ve been feeling, that there’s one thing
I am in a pale man
I have a weak heart, I have a pale hand

I’ve been dying, I’ve been trying to see
And now, I see what I can see

I’ve been dying, I’ve been trying to feel
And now, I feel what I can feel

I’ve been seeing now
I’ve been feeling now
I’ve been dying now
I’ve been trying now
I am in a pale man, I have a weak heart, I have a pale hand

I’ve been dying, I’ve been trying to see
And now, I see what I can see

I’ve been seeing, that there’s nothing
I’ve been feeling, that there’s one thing
I am in a pale man, I have a weak heart, I have a pale hand

Flash

Every time I’m standing here, and that room was never before me
I hear no voice, I remind myself, I hear
No voice

Every time I see your face, I don’t know if it’s yours or mine
I shock myself, I mean shock myself, and this
I can’t even say

Every time I look at you, your mediocre hotchpotch Christs
They do me in, I do me in, I can’t hear what you mean to say
it’s a flash

Lifting up with here white face painted
Swimming with the treasures I never knew
I feel alright, I feel alright, I know what you mean
When you say that to me

And the ash and the tables with the places filled
Every time i’m hearing you
Bath me now, make me white, but don’t, prey like her

Every time I see that face, I don’t know if it’s yours or mine
Can’t touch it, can’t say it, can’t see it, can’t hate it
Can’t hear what you mean to say it’s a flash

Lifting up and I’m shivering still, reeling in the ruins that i never knew
I feel alright, I feel alright, I know what you mean
When you say that to me

Bath me now, make me white, whiter than snow

Lifting up now
I feel alright now
I see what you say
Feel what you say
See what you mean to say
What you mean to say
What you mean to touch

Settling Things

Now it is time, so weary this time
Settle these things, settle my things
You know I never tired this easily
Or thought and fought so randomly

Tell me again, settle these things
My things this time, my mother my bed
You know I never told you about, that story always troubled me

There was this man and he was healing things
Dusting through those dusty shelves
Running round with gleaming eyes
Grieving over grown old man
And another man and a woman too
Doing things and doing more
And this man watched and troubled much
Grieving Feeling Failing still

Yes and that time, even that time
Kept to diffuse, always anxious
You know I never tired this easily
Or thought and fought so randomly

Tell me again there was these men
Speaking as though settling things
You know I still am telling you
I cannot always think of it like that

There was this man and he was healing things
Dustin through those dusty shelve
Running round with gleaming eyes
Grieving over grown old man
And another man and a woman too
Doing things and doing more
And this man watched and troubled much
Grieving feeling grieving still

I remember him, remember me
I tire over settling things
Settling things with him and me
My aching forgetful memory
And don’t you ever grieve on me
It tires me from settling things
This time, this time I’m setting it right
I grieve on that old man in me

Still

Carrying the chance meetings
The surprises of the unusual proportions, tall
And still no taller

It is startled
I am sitting
And watching
It is smarting

Now the remembering
Of much before her
The attitudes
And the pauses

Shouldering the dark longing
Quietly jeering drawing circles for
The many wishes

Now the fumbling
The dizzy ardent birth place
The staunch set answers
The dizzy birth place

Raising the fateful mornings
Carefully whispering
Binding the feet
The many instructions

The glimpses
The aspects
The shades
The colours

You are a wash
Echoes wavering
Form deep blue dark glazed
And swirling
Portent and shimmering
Awe still burning out
The feeling that this isn’t enough

Three

I am of three
I am of you, here is my body
I dream of you
I’m here to please you
I will believe you

I’m here to help you
I will not leave you

Train

Sleep
Buzzing
I am on the bus, no, the train, I am on the train, something’s happening, this is not clear
The Train
Out of the window, I won’t describe this, moving on
The Train
This is no clear, the desert, a shanty town, I describe this, poor, squalor, something is going on, changing, this is not clear here, something’s going on
The Train
This is not clear here, somethings happening, moving on

Sleep
Buzzing
This is not clear
Train
Our of the window, I won’t describe this, moving on
The Train
This is clear, the desert a shanty town, I describe this, poor, squalor, somethings going on
Sink
Things are not the same, this is not clear, something’s going on
The Train
This is not clear here, this just ain’t clear, moving on

She, Fall, Trouble

I have come
At the end
I know this
You’ve heard this
Da da da da
She, Fall, Trouble

It is clear
Where we are
Where we sit
Da da da da
Now I remember

This was to be
The time of
The imagination
The great change
But I imagine so little
And you’ve heard this before
So last of all

This over and over and over, this over
She, Fall, Trouble

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