What do you believe, is it true? I list a few of mine below.

The photo above is an old fascination in belief, Sufism. Also known as the Whirling Dervishes, it’s the mystical aspect of Islam started by the poet Jalaluddin Rumi. For a time I tried to whirl. Quite a belief, whirling to become still.

Belief might be religious or opinion. I believe in many things, then there are facts. I also believe in something other. Belief is central to the human condition.

Consciousness

Having been in coma for 3 months and the subsequent research I now believe consciousness is reality, not just an epiphenomenon of the brain. In the videos below theorists suggest rather than matter consciousness is the universe. Matter isn’t real but the stage for interaction between conscious agents. There is collective consciousness and individual conscious agents. Our individuality is altered consciousness of the collective, multiple personality disorder. They question the existence of matter without consciousness. Science too questions the independent existence of matter saying particles require perception to exist. In quantum mechanics’ entanglement theory, perception is required for particles to actualise a state. Something proven in physics by the double slit experiment.

Music

I played bass and sang in a Melbourne band The Silent Reach. There are 4 recordings at the link. The first Crystalline is me solo, the rest are the Silent Reach. Lyrics below.

  • Madradeus
  • This Mortal Coil
  • Craig Armstrong
  • Max Righter
  • Mahler, Bach
  • David Sylvian
  • Ryuchi Sakamoto
  • Art of fighting
  • Tinder Sticks
  • Crime and the City Solution
  • Joy Division
  • Groove Armada
  • Died Pretty
  • Pete Murphy
  • Nick Cave
  • The Church
  • Bauhaus
  • Djivian Gasparyan
  • Durutti Column
  • Duraffle
  • Faure
  • Michael Nyman
  • Low
  • Sigur Ros
  • Dead can Dance
  • Gavin Bryars
  • GB3
  • Johann Johansson
  • Handel
  • Tan Dun
  • Schubert
  • Gorecki

Books

  • The Trial
  • The Castle
  • Our Hearts, my Face, as Brief as Photos
  • To the Wedding
  • Here is Where We Meet
  • Narcissus and Goldmund
  • Siddhartha
  • Steppenwolf
  • The Last Temptation of Christ
  • Zorba the Greek
  • Nausea
  • The Age of Reason
  • One Hundred Years of Solitude
  • Fictions
  • The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Film

  • Space Odyssey 2001
  • Tenet
  • Solaris
  • Eyes Wide Shut
  • Nostalgia
  • Gattaca
  • Prosperous Books
  • The Wings of Desire
  • Franny and Alexander
  • Koyanisquatsi
  • In the Mood for Love
  • Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
  • Powaquatsi
  • Dogville
  • Transcendence
  • Babette’s Feast
  • Coffee and Cigarettes
  • Ex Machina

Travel

  • Deutschland
  • Singapore
  • Australia
  • France
  • England
  • Morocco
  • Egypt
  • Turkey
  • Norway
  • Sweden
  • India
  • Thailand
  • Cambodia
  • Laos
  • Phillipines
  • Greece
  • Vietnam
  • Bali
  • Italy
  • Japan
  • China
  • Spain
  • Ireland
  • Yugoslavia
  • Czech Republic
  • Croatia
  • Scotland
  • Taiwan
  • New Caledonia
  • Myanmar
  • USA

Videos

 

Lyrics

Melancholy Love Song EP

Melancholy 

A course line
A fallen hair
A sharp pain
When it comforts your despair

Muffled noise
It is here
And there’s hot coffee shivering
People everywhere

And now I ask, is it me
Oh your face is shining
So comfortably

His blood runs,
He’s got thoughts of home
Cause he’s jerky in pulse
No-one can condone

Through the door
There’s this salt water
And away they walk
Behind the slaughter

Now I asks is it me
Oh your face is shining
So comfortably

Teddy Bears

My world was once
So small and so old
Now it’s so clear, and there”s nothing to fear
Nothing more to expect

Watching my life
Writing my way
Turning around, seeing the ground, it’s all
Miles away

Secondment

I’ve Been Dying

I’ve been dying, I’ve been trying to see
And now, I see what I can see

I’ve been seeing, that there’s nothing
I’ve been feeling, that there’s one thing
I am in a pale man
I have a weak heart, I have a pale hand

I’ve been dying, I’ve been trying to feel
And now, I feel what I can feel

I’ve been seeing now
I’ve been feeling now
I’ve been dying now
I’ve been trying now
I am in a pale man, I have a weak heart, I have a pale hand

I’ve been dying, I’ve been trying to see
And now, I see what I can see

I’ve been seeing, that there’s nothing
I’ve been feeling, that there’s one thing
I am in a pale man, I have a weak heart, I have a pale hand

Flash

Every time I’m standing here
And that room was never before me
I hear no voice and
I remind myself
I hear
No voice

Every time I see your face
I don’t know if it’s yours or mine
But I shock myself
I mean shock myself
And this
I can’t even say

Every time I look at you
your mediocre hotch potch christs
They do me in
I do me in
I can’t hear what you mean to say
it’s a flash

Lifting up with here white face painted
Swimming with the treasures I never knew
I feel alright
I feel alright and
I know what you mean
when you say that to me

And the ash and the tables with the places filled
every time i’m hearing you
bath me now
make me white
but don’t
Prey like her

Every time I see that face
I don’t know if it’s yours or mine
can’t touch it
can’t say it
can’t see it
Can’t hate it
I can’t hear what you mean to say it’s a flash

Lifting up and I’m shivering still
reeling in the ruins that i never knew
and i feel alright
i feel alright
and i know what you mean
when you say that to me

Bath me now
make me white
whiter than snow

Lifting up now
I feel alright now
I see what you say
Feel what you say
See what you mean to say
What you mean to say
What you mean to touch

Settling Things

Now it is time, so weary this time
Settle these things, settle my things
You know I never tired this easily
Or thought and fought so randomly

Tell me again, settle these things
My things this time, my mother my bed
You know I never told you about, that story always troubled me

There was this man and he was healing things
Dusting through those dusty shelves
Running round with gleaming eyes
Grieving over grown old man
And another man and a woman too
Doing things and doing more
And this man watched and troubled much
Grieving Feeling Failing still

Yes and that time, even that time
Kept to diffuse, always anxious
You know I never tired this easily
Or thought and fought so randomly

Tell me again there was these men
Speaking as though settling things
You know I still am telling you
I cannot always think of it like that

There was this man and he was healing things
Dustin through those dusty shelve
Running round with gleaming eyes
Grieving over grown old man
And another man and a woman too
Doing things and doing more
And this man watched and troubled much
Grieving feeling grieving still

I remember him, remember me
I tire over settling things
Settling things with him and me
My aching forgetful memory
And don’t you ever grieve on me
It tires me from settling things
This time, this time I’m setting it right
I grieve on that old man in me

Still

Carrying the chance meetings
The surprises of the unusual proportions, tall
And still no taller


It is startled
I am sitting
And watching
It is smarting

Shouldering the dark longing
Quietly jeering drawing circles for
The many wishes

Now the fumblings
The dizzy ardent birth place
The staunch set answers
The dizzy birth place

Raising the fateful mornings
Carefully whispering
Binding the feet
The many instructions

The glimpses
The aspects
The shades
The colours

You are a wash
Echoes wavering
Form deep blue dark glazed
And swirling
Portent and shimmering
Awe still burning out
The feeling that this isn’t enough

Narcissus

Three

I am of three
I am of you, here is my body
I dream of you
I’m here to please you
I will believe you

I’m here to help you
I will not leave you

Easy now I have written, slowly I recall
There are terms in that, unspoken, gently, a carried tone
Whence my father walked, on tired, as his father too, there you are
It’s all that, ever mattered here, and now this fades away

Train

Sleep
Buzzing
I am on the bus, no, the train, I am on the train, something’s happening, this is not clear
The Train
Out of the window, I won’t describe this, moving on
The Train
This is no clear, the desert, a shanty town, I describe this, poor, squalor, something is going on, changing, this is not clear here, something’s going on
The Train
This is not clear here, somethings happening, moving on

Sleep
Buzzing
This is not clear
Train
Our of the window, I won’t describe this, moving on
The Train
This is clear, the desert a shanty town, I describe this, poor, squalor, somethings going on
Sink
Things are not the same, this is not clear, something’s going on
The Train
This is not clear here, this just ain’t clear, moving on

She, Fall, Trouble

I have come
At the end
I know this
You’ve heard this
Da da da da
She, Fall, Trouble

It is clear
Where we are
Where we sit
Da da da da
Now I remember

This was to be
The time of
The imagination
The great change
But I imagine so little
And you’ve heard this before
So last of all

This over and over and over, this Over
She, Fall, Trouble



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